This is the small simple rule of life to save your relationship with anyone, especially with your spouse or partner. This is a true story about a friend whose marriage life was about to be over. He told me this story and requested to publish it so others can adopt this simple rule and save their relationships. Mike and his wife had three beautiful daughters. Now, it’s important to know that the biggest victims of domestic fights between parents are the children. The feuding parents tend to think that children don’t understand and are not listening but in reality, children do and are then the biggest victims. While parents are going through this torture in their own lives, they make the lives of their children miserable as well. Both Mike and his wife would constantly fight, making it a daily occurrence. Sometimes, his mood would be bad or sometimes his wife’s mood would be off. The older a person is, the easier it is to understand this, but for children, it’s difficult to see parents in such a tense atmosphere. The literal definition of “mood” is a “temporary state of mind” which means that after a few hours this temporary state of mind goes away anyway but this small phase in each day can make yours and other’s life miserable and that is exactly what was happening.
Mike and his wife loved each other and had a beautiful family and after each fight, they would always come back to a normal life, but that gap started to widen into days and weeks now. With every fight, as the gap grew, things were turning quite bad. They were married for almost 12 years and had reached the point where both of them started to consider a divorce. Everything was so visible to the children who were extremely sad all the time. This beautiful home started to shatter inside out. The kids’ performance in school was getting impacted. Just like their parents, the children began to increasingly argue with one another.
The last fight between Mike and his wife was very nasty; they both stopped talking to each other after that fight. The fight started because Mike felt that his wife did not treat Mike’s parents nicely and while returning back home, he yelled at her in the car. She started crying and their silence followed. After a few days had gone by, Mike was extremely mad at his wife and was not ready to talk to her or forgive her. It came to the point where if nothing drastic was done, divorce was inevitable.
One day, Mike decided to go to church. He cried and prayed to God to forgive him for all his sins. Then all of a sudden it came to his mind that he was asking for the forgiveness from God for his sins, while he was not ready to forgive his wife. “How could God forgive my sins and all the wrong deeds I have done in my life, if I am unable to forgive my wife for such a small thing which may not even be her fault?” His fight must have tortured his wife and kids emotionally for something that small. Mike made his and his family’s lives so miserable, culminating in days of silence as he was not able to face or forgive his wife. That thought totally changed him.
He left the church in the middle of praying and went to his wife and asked her to come out for a cup of coffee with him. Luckily, his wife accepted his offer. Mike deeply apologized from the bottom of his heart, and his wife could something was different in her husband. She felt his sincerity. Mike asked for forgiveness from his wife for all the fights he ever had with her and promised that there would be no more. Both of them were crying and were very ashamed for the past, but were happy to have this discussion. Both of them promised that from that day on, they would never fight again and all of a sudden an idea came to Mike. “Let’s adopt a simple rule that we both will be happy throughout the week and regardless of how big or small the issue is, how tired or upset we are, or regardless of our mood swings, we will always be happy and will keep smiles on our faces. Throughout the week, we will have a coffee hour on Sunday where we will sit together and talk about all the issues or concerns from throughout the week. We can write our issues down throughout the week, but will not talk or express them to each other till Sunday. No fighting, arguing or saying anything negative which could spark a fight.” His wife agreed.
Mike and his wife started to go out each Sunday for a cup of coffee and openly discussed anything that bothered them during the week and collectively came up with a solution for it. This personal time allowed them to listen to each other carefully without distractions and sincerely try to fix anything. The time allowed them to talk about their kids and how they both can assist them better. Mike says that, honestly speaking, both of us would not even remember 10% of the issues which would occur during the week as almost all the issues were so small that they forget about them after a few hours anyways. If you start talking about instances that bother or annoy you on the spot, these small issues can become big fights. After a few months, their Sunday coffee time started to look like a morning date where they could enjoy their alone time together. Still, they always used that time to discuss any issues or concerns and tried to come up with a collective solution for it.
They adopted this rule strictly in their lives and now Mike and his wife are happily reaching their 25 wedding anniversary. The biggest positive impact could be seen on their kids, who were extremely happy with this surprising change in their home. All the three daughters are now grown-up, young ladies and are very successful with bright futures ahead. Mike says that his life and his family’s life totally changed from that day forward. Each day of their lives, regardless of how things were, they enjoyed every moment of it. They both started to remain happy and were able to handle all the issues and problems in life much better. Once their own lives became better, both Mike and his wife started getting involved in social work and started to help other people.
Mike asked me to publish his life story so that others can adopt this simple rule and can save their relationships. From today on, if you are going through a rough time in your relationship, go to your partner and take them out for a coffee. (you may have to try it a couple of times if things are really bad) and let’s talk with full sincerity and adopt this rule of “No Fight till Sunday, till then let’s be Happy”.
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